Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Dancing Skeleton

Here are some of the of the lessons one could learn from this book.

1) Dead people are still sitting in your house
2) You get money when your husband dies
3) If you are an ornry person, no one will be sad about your death
4) Playing the fiddle is the only way to rid your house of ghosts

Check it out for yourself at the Barrett Memorial Library.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Cockamamy Nugget


I always envied the spontaneous Yiddish terms some can throw into conversation, but soon I too will be speaking Yiddish. This easy to understand dictionary has the phenetic spelling, and a helpful rhyming word. Some definitions offer a small explaination,
"deliver the kh as if clearing a breadcrumb from the roof of your mouth."
Support our Library, and pick it up at the next Barrett Memorial libary Book Sale.
SHOLEM ALEICHEM

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Indian Talk

Here at the Barrett Memorial Library we are bilingual, as some of you may know. Mrs. Stilin, our children's librarian, knows sign language. We will be quizzing Mrs. Stilin on Indian signs all week, so stop in.

Besides authoring this delightful book, Iron Eyes Cody had an extensive movie career. Look him up on IMDb, and see for yourself. But the most fascinating part of the story is that Iron Eyes cody wasn't even an American Indian. As stated on his Wikipedia page, he was a full blooded Sicilian. You can't judge this book by it's cover, or this indian.

Check it out today at the Barrett Memorial Library.

Monday, October 11, 2010

1958 Parenting Advice

A book came into the library today that made me feel a bit nostalgic. Since I'm an old man who has lived through many a generations, I can look back at the 1950's as a memorable time. This little nugget brought me back to my fourth marriage, to Linda Sue in 1955. We got married and soon after had a baby, so think book brought me back. Here are a few parts that stood out to me as I reread the book.

"This existence [pre-baby], which in retrospect always seems idyllic, cannot continue forever. As it must to almost all men, birth comes to cut short the idyl."

"New babies bear little resemblance whatsoever to anything living, and to not very many things that are dead. What they really look like is the drawings in the maternity books of horrid little tadpoles, bent over into circles inside their mothers...His inital thought is that the squalling, naked little creature is emabrrassingly premature-not read yet, by a long shot, to be exposed to the human eye."

Get ready for parenthood the 1950's way. Check it out today at the Barrett Memorial Library, "that is if you can get away form your wife long enough."


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

101 Cat Questions

We here at the Barrett Library are mourning a loss today. Our dear friend Ditto has passed. To honor him, we have found a cat book with lovely little tid-bits. Here are just some of the questions a cat might ask.

64. Sometmies I get this unpleasant feeling in my gut, start heaving, and vomit up a massive hairball. Is there anything I can do to prevent this happening?

70. How can I make sure I don't get lost?

52. I like sleeping with strangers, especially humans, what is it about their armpits that thrills me so?

All of your cat questions are answered in this book, pick it up today at the Barrett Memorial Library.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Down Home Cooking

It isn't everyday that I find something this exciting to share with you. Can't find anything to make for your next potluck? Just a heads up that it does contain some specialty items like Oleo and Velvetta so plan ahead for your next shopping trip. Come on down to the Barrett Memorial Library and pick this jem up. I haven't made all the recipes yet, but here are some of my favorites.

Potato Chip Sandwich
-Pardie Tickette says "Wash it down with a Pepsi, it's some good!"

Bonnie Jean Butt's Banana Puddin
-Bonnie Jean always said: "No picnic is a picnic less'n you have a banana puddin"

Dana Pullen's Chicken Feet & Rice

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Truth about Chuck Norris


It's been a while since something has made me laugh this hard, yet was still
somewhat appropriate. So to honor the Chuck Norris here are a few of our favorites.
- Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage
-The fences at the zoo are to keep the animals safe from Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
- Supermand wears Chuck Norris pajamas
-When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Check it out at the Barrett Memorial Library.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

New do?

Well before Snookie rocked the bump, there was the "Quick Quiff". Demonstrated on page 24, it really is the same style that many young girls are attempting today.

It's a little dated, but most of these styles are still easy to spot today. One style I'm glad I don't see very often is the Plaid Braid. It is essentially wrapping your hair in wide ribbon, so it somewhat resembles a horse's tail.
This one is sure to be a hit, come early to the next Book Sale, July 3rd down by the lakefront and at the Barrett Memorial library.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A Cat's life lessons


"This book is for cat lovers - those charmed by the cat's inscrutable ways, calmed by their purring, awed by their grace, and fascinated by their personalities - those who will always find delight in the cat."

For cat lovers alike, I would like to share a few of my favorite chapter titles.
- Share the Sunshine
- Everybody Deserves To Be Rescued
- The Soft Sound of Humility
- Value Is Not Based on Purr-chase Price
- Be Finicky About Your Choice of Words
-Credible People Recognize Im-paws-tors

Check it out at our new booksale, coming up July 4th weekend at the Barrett Memorial Library

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Too Scary!

Call me Downer Debbie, but this looks frightening. The back cover reads "Boo!!! Have you ever had somethingscare you? On the Island of Sodor, even the bravest of engines sometimes get scared. Why take Percy - - he said that he's not scared of anything. What do you think? Help Thomas use the carnival Chinese Dragon to play a little joke on Percy."

Considering the average age of a Thomas fan is about 3, I am wondering if this bloody train scene is really what Rev. W. Awdry had in mind when he created Thomas. I will give them props for incorporating some Chinese culture into this rather traditional show, but does this dragon result in a blood bath?

Check it out at the Barrett Memorial library.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Canine Midwifery

Spring is in the air, and so are the puppies. This knowledgable manual has everything you need to know, and then some. Everything from when to breed to delivery day is in this book. As well as some things you might not want to know. If you aren't a dog person, you might not want to learn about extended tie, but for those in the dog breeding business, this is your book.

Get ready for puppies today, at the Barrett Memorial Library.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

What's the Secret?

This post is a call to action. We are in the mist of a stealing spree here at the Barrett Memorial Library, and we need your help. If you have already read The Secret, you are aware that the power of positive thinking is an amazing thing. We are asking the whole world wide web to think positive and stop the thief in his/her tracks. Yes that's right, someone has stolen The Secret.

Read The Secret, google Kharma, and think twice about stealing, especially from the library. In case you haven't heard, the library is free to tax payers.

Come get your free library card, and check out free library materials today at the Barrett Memorial Library.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Make a Difference!


What Can I do to Make a Difference? By Richard Zimmerman was written in 1992, but full of great knowledge.
"Did you know? According to PETA 26 animals die every minute in the U.S. alone to test shampoos, hairsprays, laxatives and oven cleaners."
"60 Million people could be adequately fed by the grain saved if Americans reducd their intake of meat by 10 percent."
"Cancer causes one out of every five deaths in America."
"The detergent you use might have been forced fed to a dog, until it gets so violently ill it eventually dies"
Horrible stuff, but so fascinating. Buy it at the next book sale, or check it out today at the Barrett Memorial Library.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Clean Senior's Jokes

We all know those older folks with the inappropriate jokes. The next time they come around surprise them with this, The Treasury of Clean Seniors' Jokes.

There is one thing that most of us do better than anyone else - Read our own handwriting.

Some people have their feet planted firmly on the ground...and others just ove like it.

I proposed to Ida
Ida refused.
I'da won Ida
if I'da used
Burma Shave.

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together but only one to scatter it all over the highway.

Diets are for persons whoa re thick and tired of it all.

Look forward to this gem at the next booksale, July 4th weekend at Barrett Memorial Library.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

New Hobby Anyone?


Who knew whittling could be so easy. Very easy directions on how to make great looking birds and a variety of other creatures.
Great new project for gifts. What says Merry Christmas like a wooden bird, or Happy Earth Day here's a small wooden man.
Check it out today at the Barrett Memorial Library.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Coolio in the Kitchen?


I was very surprised when I found this jewel at the library this morning. Who knew.
The book has a ton of recipes, including: Bro-ghetti, Oil My Mussels, Steak Fatricia, Karate Meat, and my personal favorite I'm-Gonna-Slap-You-With-My-Whisk Tomato Bisque.

I'm warning you that this might not be the cookbook to share with your kids, but the food looks good.

Check it out today at the Barrett Memorial Library.




"Matter of fact, I could take one bite out of a rainbow trout and I could tell you where he came from, what his was, and what kind of music he liked."

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

SuperTrucker


I was unable to find an exact picture, and honestly, I like the idea of building suspense.



At the next book sale, which you already know is a lot more than just books, we will be selling a collection of cassette tapes. Although not nearly as nostalgic as records, cassettes are smaller and easy to carry. One of my favorites is "SuperTrucker" filled with all of your favorite trucker songs.

Including:

Truck Drivin' son-of-a-gun

Give Me 40 Acres (To Turn This Rig Around)

42 in Chicago, 81 in L.A.

I'm a Truck

Truck Drivin' Outlaw



Come see what else we have in store at the next Book Sale.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Gee Whiz




Yep that's right, I'm not above blogging about urine. This little nugget of a children's book is full of fun, disgusting facts. Here are the highlights all about pee.

"India's former Prime Minister Morarji Desai lived to be nintey-nine years old. He said he owed his good health to drinking a pint of his own urine each day."

"In Singapore, not flushing public toilets is a crime. undercover agents lurk in restrooms to hand out fines."

"The U.S. Army gives them food dried food in a pouch. At mealtime, soldiers must put the moisture back in. First choice, water-clean or dirty-the pouch filters out the yucky stuff. But in a pinch, pee will do the job."

"A mellow yellow turns neon bright, however, if you take vitamin B."

"Some women in Ancient Rome drank turpentine (which can be poisonous!) because it made their urine smell like roses."

Learn all the facts today, and the Barrett Memorial Library.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

People of the Wolf

The cover doesn't show it, but this is "The Bestselling Saga of Prehistoric North America."

Thousands of years ago, at the end of the Ice Age, small hunting bands crossed the fragile land bridge linking Europe and Asia to the Americas, and discovered a lush and fertile land untouched by humankind. Over the centuries that followed, the descendants of these first Americans spread across the face of the continent, adapting to its varied climates and conditions. PEOPLE OF THE WOLF isthe first gripping novel in a magnificent multi-volume saga that traces the epic history of these pioneer peoples.

Buy it at the next book sale, or check it out at the Barrett Memorial Library.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Facercise

Forget Botox, Facercise. Carole Maggio shows you exactly what you need to do to look ten years younger. As the book states, "take ten years off your face-in just minutes a day." Sounds easy right, and the photos make it fool-proof. Check it out today at the Barrett Memorial Library.




Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Wiscon-Sing


I unfortunately, was unable to find a picture of the great video cassette I hold in my hands. "Wisconsing" is sixty minutes of pure family fun. David HB Drake has been called 'a gentle troubadour' and 'elemental folksinger.'


He has a wonderful webiste, full of fascinating delights. Check David out online or come buy this cassette at the next book sale.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Tom Hanks' Finest!

It's a sentimental day here at the Barrett Memorial Library. Many a times, I have watched this film on my trusty VCR. I don't think Tom Hanks has done a better movie, than this gem. The storyline is fantastical, and the acting is superb. After watching this movie, you too will want to jump on the giant piano and play a tune.

Check it out tomorrow Barrett Memorial Library, I'm taking it home today!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Cat Striking Back

Today's item is less about the book, and more about the author. Shirley Rousseau Murphy has received seven national Cat Writers' Association Awards for best novel of the year, two Cat Writers' President's Awards, the "World's Best Cat Litter-ary Award" in 2006 for the Joe Grey Books, and five Council of Authors and Journalists Awards for previous books.

It is award season afterall, check it out and see what all the fuss is about.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Grow Your Own!

What a Dandy book! Did you know it is possible to produce 1,400 Eggs, 50 pounds of Wheat, 60 pounds Fruit, 2,000 pounds of vegetables, 280 pounds of Pork, and 75 pounds of Nuts, all on just a quarter acre of land.

Incredible right? This book also has directions for how to:
Milk a goat
Prune a tree
Dry herbs
Make Dandelion wine
Bake whole-grain bread
Tap a maple tree
Make fresh mozzarella
Brew Beer
Mill grains for flour
Save seeds for next season

This book is an encyclopedia of knowledge. Just by thumbing through it I learned that old eggs float, and beets taste best when they are the size of a golfball. Oh let the farming begin.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Yo-Yo Eskimo


Listed on the Free Library Website as a "Wild & Crazy Alaskans", Chris Kiana is my personal superstar. Kiana has a Ph.D. and is the president of the Alaska Eskimo Yo-Yo Company. He is also the star of our Item of the Day, Eskimo Yo-Yo. A classic VHS, that runs a brief 20 minutes, but includes 26 different yo-yo tricks.
The Video might be hard to find, but the book (shown left) is still available on Amazon.com.
Learn something new this winter, like the "Around the World-Overhead Eskimo Orbit"

Monday, January 4, 2010

Free Trip To Heaven

I'll just give you the highlights.

Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
Don't wait for six strong men to take you to Church.
A Closed mouth gathers no foot.
CH CH What's missing U R
Our Sundays are better than Dairy Queen
Jesus is the rock that doesn't roll.
If God had a refrigerator your picture would be on it.